The New South Wales parliament is expected to soon pass a Bill that will expand stem cell research, allowing somatic cell nuclear transfer. If passed, this will bring NSW into line with Commonwealth legislation. This research will potentially bring benefits for sufferers of motor neurone disease, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease.
However, the Catholic Archbishop of Sydney, Cardinal George Pell (pictured) says this research is grotesque and is “a perverse new direction in human experimentation”. He has threatened to withhold communion from politicians voting in support of the Bill.

Leaving aside (until next time) the important issue of the separation of church and state, I wondered just where in the bible did Cardinal Pell find a reference to stem cell research being so grotesque. I’d given up trying to find a biblical condemnation of condoms, and was forced to draw the conclusion that the Catholic church must regard millions dying a horrible death from AIDS as preferable to being caught with a bit of rubber on the end of one’s knob. I’m worried that my search for the line “Though shalt not conduct stem cell research” will end similarly. That is, the church’s considers it’s better for people with said diseases to suffer, than to fiddle about with a dozen or so cells in a Petri dish.

Of course, it’s important to realize that the bible is packed to the gills with useful, relevant information for life in the 21st century. Take Deuteronomy 14:21 for example, “Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk”. Good advice if ever there was. And what about Leviticus 19:19, “Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material”. Confront those fraudsters claiming to be Christians in their cotton and polyester pullovers. I expect we shall see Cardinal Pell checking the labels on the clothes of his flock before delivering communion, and casting the unholy clothes wearers out of his church.

So should we take heed of scientific advice that’s supposedly biblically based? Leviticus 11:20-23 demonstrates the reliability of the bible in matters scientific. “Yet these may ye eat of all winged swarming things that go upon all fours, which have jointed legs above their feet, wherewith to leap upon the earth; even these of them may ye eat: the locust after its kinds, and the bald locust after its kinds, and the cricket after its kinds, and the grasshopper after its kinds.” Four legged grasshoppers? If little Timmy comes home from school with a project on insects that claims they have six legs, it’s up to you to point out the facts to the ignorant teacher.

In fact, if you encounter anything to do with six legged grasshoppers, or cotton and polyester shirts, I suggest you contact Cardinal Pell immediately at chancery@ado.syd.catholic.org.au so he can continue his good work in fighting these evils.
Unless of course, your motor neurone disease, Alzheimer's or Parkinson's disease prevents you from using a computer. In that case, just accept your fate and be grateful those cells in the Petri dish will be left undisturbed. George thinks it’s for the best.